A Pilkington Xmas

Mine has come early! My favourite of all Pilkington anecdotes - in animation form!

Lmfao. I'll never get tired of it!!

Click to watch Vid

Chit Chat, Fruit, Wiggum, Defending a giant rat

Chit chat.

I can't do it. An elevator ride with someone is the most stressful thing in life.

You have 20 seconds so the topic has to be trivial. It's usually the weather. I've never been able to discuss weather. Or what I did on the weekend. Try asking me a harder question. It doesn't matter how exciting it may have been, I always panic and make something up.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with small talk. It's just one of those things that tests my patience as well as fitness climbing all those stairs.

I introduce a new vegetable into my diet every year in an effort to be more healthy. Last year it was the tomato which backfired on me. A fruit apparently. Chose an avocado this time around. Fool proof.

Haven't turned on the telly for almost a month now. Which means I'm so out of touch with what's happening in the world. I read news.com.au but you have the choice of what you want to be informed on. And I do tend to gravitate more towards the headlines with Kyle Sandilands or monkey in the headline. Coincidently both stories contain the same sorts of behavior.

Hooked on eating sushi daily. Which has coincided with me wanting to visit Japan again. Proof you are what you eat. It has turned me, and now I have that song stuck in my head. Was talking to someone about eating Kangaroo. In my opinion it's too cute when it's alive to eat. That's the rule. Hence you never catching me eating lamb or duck or pigeon. They tried to argue cows were good looking but I questioned whether you're ever flattered when you get called one. Chickens, they're borderline. The day their eyes blink and are less beady I promise to starve off them. I just thought, why do cows need to have so much meat on them anyway. They stand there not moving eating all day. What are they storing energy for exactly? It's almost like they know the answer is us

Itching to fulfill my one and only dream of writing a Simpson's episode. Thought I'd focus the storyline mainly around Ralph Wiggum as I have a hunch he's the only character I could successfully write for.

I've started to draw birds. Commercially they're also high flyers. You can't not like birds, or at least looking at them. I don't particularly like being around them because even though they've miles of sky to fly in they still feel the need to glide dangerously close to my head. Things will get ugly the day I come across one suffering from vertigo. Or if the guy next door who feeds his pets beer buys a cassowary. Apart from the Kiwi they're unobjectionable creatures. I have no sympathy for bids who can't fly. Actually my question with them is evolutionary wise are they progressing forward into being able to or in the process of ditching them all together and filling out more into the lines of an echidna. Which in my opinion is a far superior animal. Kudos to them if that's the case. Either way they need to sort themselves out.

At that point in my life where I need to change shampoos again. My hair has gotten too resistant to the one I'm using now. I don't know why, but every three months or so I need to shock it with a different set of chemicals for it to come good again. My aim is to one day live a chemical free life. Totally organic. Including food, housing, transport, everything. Which means I'll have to be rid of the makeup ACA reminds me weekly is slowly but surely poisoning me. So I'll have to hold off adopting such a lifestyle until I'm old enough to not care what I look like anymore. That's if the foundation doesn't get me first.

What on Earth

People get down on the human race a lot. Like "Oooh, look what we're doing to the turtles. It's too hot, now that bug's extinct. How long until Serbs and Croats realise they're the same thing? Adobe has us upgrading photoshop every 2 weeks, drip feeding us the perfect version they've already created." And so on.
Fair enough I guess.
But there's that side of brilliance that argues differently.
I can't get over how clever we are. I mean just generally the things we're capable of knowing about is mind blowing. Especially in the way of medical research and such, it's astounding. You can't help but burst with pride when thinking of the dvd player or more recently, the snuggie. Try shocking me with innovation after that.
Plus the amount of people out there willing to help others to expect nothing in return reassures you overall we're not doing too bad a job. Considering what we were given to work with and predisposition to, a good one in fact?
It's an easier thing to think if the world wasn't perfectly imperfect we'd be in a right mess.

Fraud, Vegans, Thanking the Lord

Things are coming along quite nicely on the art side of things. Selling my prints to this fashion place which will hopefully help things take off. On the day I can answer "pretty pictures" to the question of what I do for a living, please remind me of what I do at my day job so I can be a million times more grateful.

So I spent today fabricating a series of resumes for a group of unemployed people. Reminded me of that episode of The Simpsons when Marge was trying to get a job and asked Lisa to do the same thing. And yes, I took note and many of these women did end up working for the Howard administration. Because, you know, they did vote for him. There's only so much you can work with when given 5 years tuck shop duty experience. I'm not having a go. These were lovely women, all mothers trying to get back into the workforce. It's just an impossible thing to stretch onto two pages.

Spent too much time debating a Vegan on whether eating meat is immoral. She asked me how I would feel if I was bred for meat. I said being at the top of the food chain I didn't really have to imagine. Actually, living in this country I'm probably a few more rungs down than that. But seriously, I do get their point. The amount of problems that come along with eating meat, it makes sense not to. And I would, if I could physically stand without it. If I don't eat red meat in over a week I pretty much turn into well, funnily enough a vegetable. Her mum happens to be a full on Nazi. With what I wish for the Jew's sake was still on the topic of food.

I'd estimate to have done about... too many assignments on Hitler in high school. I remember in history we could focus on any part of Hitler's life to write about. I chose his mother issues. Turns out he only got into the business of world domination after failing to get into art school. I think if I got rejected from art school I'd take it out on a few people too. Only not so heavy on the horrific evils. I think I'd be satisfied with a nasty letter I'd never have to guts to send anyway.

I Could Eat A Knob At Night - Dance Remix..

Why am I just discovering this now??

Oh, Pilky. ♥

A Brief History of Mine

I think I have dyslexia when it comes to finding constellations. I've never been able to see anything but a bunch of stars. If I could do it all again I think I'd be an astronomer. Eh, is it still not too late? I know I've passed the use-by date for being a ballerina or gymnast, but an Astrophysicist? Maybe it's best I master the pretty pictures and getting past the 2nd chapter of A Brief History of Time first.

I Wiki'd the snail. I have a real issue with the snail. I don't get it. Like the crab I don't know why it's here in such a ridiculous state. Apparently there's a 70cm variety out there. Why put in such an effort to upsize without figuring out a set of legs first I'll never know. Wiki only explains so much. Sometimes I wish I had my own personal Zoologist.

So the Vegemite thing will never die. I can't shake it. I'm forever the Vegemite Girl.

Thanks to the net it's spread itself around the office. I think my boss got suspicious how tight lipped I keep about my arty history and took it on herself to Google me. I had to myself after that to make sure it's just art history they got. I discovered if they get bored searching around 5 pages in I won't be on my knees to Boost. Also, I share my name with an acclaimed snake milker in Canada.

Small tip. If you're unemployed, pushing a pram or in a pack of Asians, don't venture out of the house before 9am. That last place on the crowded bus is mine. Seriously, that priority seating should extend to the workforce and students. I don't know why anyone else is up at that time of the morning anyway. You were lucky to see me before midday before I started working. The only way I can fit on a bus is if I'm standing in the right spot I've predicted the bus door to stop at. That's a fun game to play every morning when I'm half asleep, de-cafinated and being elbowed in the ribs by the elderly who by all means should be in a rush to hold up the post office queue. Ugh. I've been too much of a delight. Rant over.

It was.

Flesh was just flesh,

Loss of a tender reality

Existing in a place that doesn't,

Sensing it through this present fragility

Feeling absent in crowded company

Holding onto nothing, but having everything with you

Connecting us with all we can't touch,

Thousands of miles difference diminish as we do

One day that mistake's to be known

For what it really is in light of us

Healing the mind I love you to love

In this inaudiable state I can say within trust.

Lacrymosa, Bullet Points & Love Thy Neighbour

I bought a big book of Mozart I'm determined to conquer. Lacrymosa is the most beautiful song I think I've ever heard. I think I'll be satisfied if I can play even just that all the way through flawlessly.

I've never appreciated until recently how odd looking the Peacock is. Is the point of the feathers to be threatening or merely for my amusement? Seriously, someone bother to c+p the wiki synopsis for me. Evolution I don't get. If the point of it is essentially equipping us for survival, everything would have evolved to the point of blowing fire with stega-style points lining our backs. Instead it went overboard with the turquiose & girly embellishments. Went overly soft on the snail in my opinion.

Working has left me so tired I haven't been bothered to write in a long while.

I'm so tight with money but I still buy $20 art magazines air freighted from Denmark in my break. Considering the amount of alphabeticalizing my job involves, my creative soul demands it.

The sentences in art publications have too many words in them. I don't appreciate feeling stupid figuring out what point they're trying to make even in the editorial. Cut the verbs and introduce those things that have ruined my attention span forever. More bullet points, please.

I really hope Zeke from Neighbours still has OCD by the time I can be bothered watching it again. It's the only entertaining story line left on telly.