Thursday, 4 March 2010

Can't Read My Poker Waist

Two days until I leave for London. A well wisher at work told me about her trip last year and how the cold and long dark days of spring sucked the life out of her. But she said I’d have a great time.

I went shopping for clothes the other day but hadn’t a clue what would be suitable for London at a 2C high. Deep down I know the answer is pants. Problem is I don’t wear pants. Pictures of Lady Gaga coming through from London assure me my No Pants policy she adopted (stole) may be humanly possible at the moment. I'm still scared for Gaga is the closest thing to human I can go by.

My aversion to pants came about over a few things. Having a female body for one. When eating half a rice cracker can make us go up 2 dress sizes, squeezing into what half an hour ago was falling down around our ankles can be devastating. Not so much on the body image for me, but in being the cheapest person around. I think Warren Buffet’s house is still too big for someone in his position. And for someone who has to weigh up and justify every time whether or not to buy essential items like toilet paper at the shops, facing the idea of having to buy a whole new wardrobe is soul crushing. Skirts you can get away with a few calories either side. Dresses you can go through PMS and back in. Pants on the other hand show no mercy. Hence, no pants.


  1. wow. i have never known any female who never wore pants. it makes perfect sense what you say. i cannot imagine not wearing pants/shorts. i never wear dresses or skirts. mmmm you might be on to something though

  2. I hate pants. Absolute HATE them. Unfortunately for me, I live in an area with very harsh winters... that last like 9 months of the year. Therefore, I own and wear lots of pants.

    But I do hate them... I don't like the feeling of clothes all on my skin - makes me feel kind of claustrophobic. bleh. I want to feel the sun on my skin and be free to move! Skirts, Dresses, shorts... they're all good. Pants, on the other hand, I could live without.