Sunday, 12 July 2009

London pt.1 - GMT, Facebook, Annoying Kiddie

Night of my 20th birthday I'm finishing packing. Took less time than I thought. Wondered why for a moment than wondered why not. It's not like I'm packing anything other than what I use at home. If I was going to Mars for example my preparation would be more time consuming but in this case I'm just off to a more gloomier, civilized version of here. Just reminded myself to pack umbrella and shoes.
Looked at the world map on the wall and thought how I'm going to a much bigger city in a much smaller country and why everyone gravitated to a place that's in such an awkward spot. Also wondered why they bothered to cut it up into 3 countries when the whole thing is as big as my pinkie and they couldn't use a font small enough to keep even the word Wales in its own country. Remembered hearing somewhere that Wales is the New Zealand equivalent for England and victim to just as many sheep jokes. Suddenly felt much tenderness towards England.
Opened a present from Julie; a brilliant wooden art box to put all my stuff in. Will come in quite handy and I suspect more useful than the jam jars and shoe boxes I've been using. Thinking the next investment in my career should be something to replace the wall I've been using to blu tac my drawings to.
Only hours to go before my flight. Felt tired but thought for once that was a good thing. Or was it? Plan was to get my body into GMT mode 3 days before I left. Couldn't be bothered but didn't worry about at the time because even when I leave everything til the last minute, it gets done in the end. Didn't think maybe in this case my system might not work. Couldn't remember if I should be asleep or not. Worked out London was at about 2pm and figured I should be.
Got to the airport and thought there's probably a better time I could've picked to change my mind about going. Got to the checkout to put my bags through and thought of a worse one. The lady at the counter had a British accent. Part of me hoped it was a sign I had somehow got transported directly into London and eliminated the need for a 23 hour flight. Turns out she was just British.
Don't make requests to be knocked out before the flight and only waken again once in London. No one but you will think it's a sensible idea.
Was paranoid my bag was going to be too heavy after weighing it at home and coming over the limit. Came well under. Happy to no longer have the self image of Beth Ditto. Not so happy to replace it with Posh Beckham.
Went through security. Got pulled over and swabbed to explosives. Thought they didn't want to offend me by saying drugs. Felt nervous. There's always the thought in the back of your head that thinks you packed them unknowingly while sleepwalking. Reminded me of a story of a man who had a phobia of pens because he didn't trust himself to not write a confession to a crime he didn't commit. Wondered how my phobia of heights didn't take effect with air travel. Tried not to dwell on it.
Sat down at the gate waiting to board. The man across from me looked nervous because he kept fiddling. Automatically made me nervous wondering what he knew that I didn't. A chinese woman and her kid were also sitting across from me with masks on. I wondered whether they were trying to not get something or pass something on.
Forgot to buy a bottle of water on the way through. The thought of it made me very thirsty. Just like how the thought of having no access to food makes you hungry. Would kill everyone in the room for some banana bread.
On the plane I got an aisle seat which I thought was lucky because of the two overweight people I got seated next to. At least I wouldn't have to try and get around them when wanting to go to the toilet. Forgot they might at some point want to go as well.
Couldn't get much sleep because of this and the fact emirates kept wanting to feed us and sell us duty free. Thought about the airline that took one olive out of each meal and saved a fortune without anyone noticing. Every meal I got I tried to figure out what emirates might be stinging me out on. I thought the one slice of cheese for six crackers maybe.
Couldn't stand the babies on flight. The only sound worse than an upset baby is a happy one. Unfortunately there were both. A little girl about 4 kept running up and down the aisle saying hello to people including me. If I wasn't on a 16 hour flight I would never give a 4 year old a death stare - but I was. I wish parents knew anything their child does is only cute to them. I think there should be a law for children under 10 to not be allowed in public. Ideally a fetus should gestate in the womb for 10 years until we all want to see it. This would solve many of the worlds problems including over population. I don't think many women would want to be pregnant for that long unless they're Catholic or Heidi Klum.
Feeling separation anxiety from my phone/internet. Wish they could invent a plane that could handle msn and not crashing.
Got out at Singapore for a fuel stop. Lining up to use the free internet. Girl in front of me spending way too long updating her facebook status. She goes on to do a quiz 'What body part am I?' and I wanted to slap her. Wondered what Myspace guy was feeling about no one using his site anymore.
The next leg to Dubai went quickly. I watched one episode of Two and a Half Men and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button on the screen across from me. Without audio but I was getting the gist. Packed my ipod but the earphones didn't work. Sat there watching the music playing. Couldn't get the gist of that.
Closed my eyes but couldn't sleep. Suddenly thought of myself as a Sim. With levels above my head on the amount of sleep, food etc I needed and calculated where I was at with each. Sleep was at a critical level in the red. Amusement was about yellow. I was watching an episode of The Simpson's but I had already seen more times than I'd like to admit.
There's a thing on the screen you can choose to show video of the earth below and the side of the plane. Turned it on whenever we were over land. Went over some mountains I should know the name of. The ones near that major mountain I should really know the name of.
In Dubai 20 minutes late. Paranoid I'll miss my next flight. Got to the gate fine, handed over my passport to checkin and got asked whether I was lost. Wondered how that emotion got on my face when I wasn't. I thought of how I get asked a lot whether I'm lost. Self conscious now that's just my natural face.
Got seated next to a funny little englishman. He couldn't work out the inflight entertainment and asked me how to access the Wimbeldon scores. I said I didn't know even though I did. He got out his newspaper and started reading The Times. Sport section. I wondered why such old people still take an interest in who wins or not. Thought they would've realised it doesn't matter by now.

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